Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
