I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
