just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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