If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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