cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
