Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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