My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
