wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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