meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
