I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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