she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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