first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
