She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
