I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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