Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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