bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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