I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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