Jerry, you need to find god
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You are the jesus of drinking
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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