After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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