Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize