I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
