She said her name was "party"
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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