i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
