I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
