i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
