i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
