like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
