so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
