You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
