Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
