hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
