You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
