Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Houston, we have a blender
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
