TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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