My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
