You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
barbara walters just said penis...
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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