Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
