My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
she pinky promised me she was 18
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
