you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
