My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
splinters make it hard to masturbate
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
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