i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
