I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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