he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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