who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i think i have herpe
just one?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
