her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
