when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
