That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
