I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
