Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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