ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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