Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
