I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
