he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
