I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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