And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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