Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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