I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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