I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
