could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Did we literally take a cab across the street
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
